Thursday, December 31, 2009

AMENds in 2010!

Sometimes the present is a gift I wish I could return,

But God gifts us lessons that we need to learn--

We earn or we should at least--

Our lives are on lease.

Everything that happens to us happens for a reason.

We come in and out of different seasons.

At times it’s the result of our own bad decisions.

We forget the earlier lessons taught

And get caught by a foot fault,

Stepping on lines and having to pay heavy fines,

But it’s okay because my life is Purposed by His Design!

Even the things that occur that are out of my control

I rest assured because He’s in control.

Parts of me are dying everyday

Just to be Reborn in God’s way.

The past isn’t meant to be left behind-

’08 will forever resonate in my mind.

In ’09 I lost a life line.



But He gives me hope in tomorrow and

His presence is my present--for today is a gift.

God loves me more than any friend

And promises to make Amends in 20-10!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Nation's Capital, Here We Come!




Our women's basketball team is invited to play in the Inaugural National Title IX Holiday Conference (NTHICC) in the nation's capital. We were chosen as one of eight teams nationally because our basketball program places a strong emphasis on STUDENT athlete. While in DC, we'll get a tour of the White House, and supposedly tournament hosts are trying to get First Lady Michelle Obama to be one of the guest speakers. I hope it works out. Either way, when we get to the White House, I'm taking about ten copies of my resume and accidentally leaving them all over the place.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

In Constant Battle With Yourself

Regardless of a person's level of intelligence, wealth, or age, we all struggle with decision making. Why is it so hard to make the right choice at all times? Sometimes I feel as if I'm having an out of body experience. I look back at a situation and find myself saying, "Did I really just do that?" or "I can't believe I just said that! What in the world was I thinking?" It's as if it wasn't even me talking or carrying out that particular action; it was somebody else.

Sometimes it seems as if we're in a constant battle against ourselves for the control of our own mind. It's as if our real self takes a nap, only to wake up right after that other self has made a stupid decision. Now the real self has to suffer the consequences. And then we're left thinking, "What in the hell just happened?!?" (see Tiger Woods, Mark Sanford, Kanye West)

Unfortunately, this "coma-like" state can last for weeks, months, even years for some people, before they come back to their senses. By that time, they may have lived a life that they never intended.

As a child many of our mishaps are chalked up to being young or inexperienced, but what's the excuse when we grow up and become adults? What is it that causes these laps in judgement? What is it that makes people wander about in a conscious yet unconscious state of mind? If you know someone who is currently living with this state of mind, what can you do to help them to come back to reality to see again? How can we counteract moments of blindness to prevent decisions that can negatively affect us forever?

Friday, December 04, 2009

Insert Foot in Mouth


Most of my friends and family know me to be quite the comedian. I love to make people laugh and smile. However, sometimes I pick the wrong time to be funny.

Case in point-yesterday in class one of my students was selling snacks out of his book bag. I have gotten on to him several times, even confiscated the goods a few, for doing this during my class/at school.

I said," Shawn**, I'ma start calling you hustle man. You always trying to sell something!"
He replied, "I like that name. I know somebody else by that name who stands on the corner." Another student decided to chime in and said, "I know that dude too! Is he light skin with curly hair?"

Now it just so happens that this young man has light skin and curly hair, so he was setting his self up, in my book. Therefore me and my quick wit self replied in a joking manner, "Oh, so that's yo daddy?!?"

Erebody in the class started laughing. The students started saying, "Oooooooo! Ms. B just slayed you!" and "Ms. B. killing today!" I mean it was funny, but I felt really bad. The student looked extremely embarrassed and appeared to be concocting a come back. I needed class to proceed because we had just started. So I immediately started talking, pleading while he seemed to be gathering his thoughts , "I'm sorry, so sorry. Thank you Pete** for being the bigger person and not responding. You're better than me. I'm being mean today. Thanks for not slaying me back." He looked like he wanted to say something so bad, but he didn't. I was proud of him. And class moved on.

Ironically, I had a conference with his aunt that afternoon. So I'm at the conference trying to discuss a success plan for him, and she tells us that Pete's mother died when he was younger and that he had been staying with his grandmother. Now she, the aunt was his caregiver. No mention of his father.

Felt real bad after hearing this. The joke in and of itself wasn't that bad, but now knowing what he's been through, it just wasn't a good idea. So today when he came to class, I pulled him outside and we had a talk about how I wanted him to be successful and what it would take for him to pass my class. I asked him for his goals in life and he said he didn't have any. Monday he's supposed to give me one short term goal and one long term goal.

I can't take back the comment I made in jest, but I can help him move forward in a positive direction.




**Names changed

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Out of Academic Shape






Within the 90 min block, I plan several different activities so that we don't spend too much time doing one thing, which helps diverse learners and keeps their attention longer. Time also goes faster when you stay busy. But in order to be able to complete all of the assignments, one has to be "in shape," ready to handle the academic, mental workout. I had never thought about this before, until this past Friday.

This past Friday, my second period started complaining about doing work. It wasn't everybody, just a few. Every once in a while, my students would say, "Can we just have free time?" or "Do we have to do this?" My normal response to this type of questioning is, "I'm sorry yall. I didn't mean to make you do work. My bad. I thought this was school!" Most of the time they start laughing, remember "Oh yeah. This is school," and then get back to work.

However, on this day, a light bulb went off for me: my sophomore students are out of shape--not physical shape, but academic. Some students are not used to working for 90 mins and become agitated and ill when asked to do so. It's just like an athlete at basketball practice ( I love sports analogies). When a ball player is out of shape, the last thing she wants to do is run sprints or suicides. She may whine,complain, or become attitudinal about having to run because she is already tired. But the only way to get better at it is to practice, and we all know how some athletes feel about practice: "This is practice . . . not a game--practice!" ~Allen Iverson.

Well the same thing goes for a student. Learning is tiring. It's physical and mental work. So the next time my students complain about doing work, I'm not going to think that they are just being lazy or unmotivated. I'm going to chalk it up to them being out of shape, and needing a little more encouragement to keep going--learning.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Getting "In the Way" of The Truth




A couple of months ago I read a Daily Bread devotional entitled "Getting 'In the Way.'" Looking at the title, I thought it was possibly going to be about things that get in the way of us serving God. But, it was about God being the way and if you are to follow Him, then you are in the way. I thought the title and message were very deep.

I also liked the scripture reading, John 14:1-6. Verse six really stood out to me: "I am the way and the truth and the life." The Truth. God is The Truth. I've read that before, but this time it really stood out to me.

This year I'm recommitting myself to The Truth, living it, loving it, and speaking it. I wanted something to remind me to live in The Truth everyday. So I came up with the idea of a Truth ring. I bought a sterling silver ring and had "The Truth" etched into it. I wear it everyday as a reminder to get "in the way."

God Bless!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Let's Get, Get, Get it!!



Wow!! Summer break is over and I can hardly believe we're starting a new school year. Unlike the last few years, I am ready to return to teaching. I really can't put my finger on it, but something in my spirit is telling me that this is going to be my school's defining year. We are going to be doing Big Thangs!! I just can't contain my excitement.

At the same time, however, it's kinda scary. It's like starting a new relationship--feeling like this could work out, but having second thoughts because you don't want to be hurt again. Have you ever been there before? You're a little hesitant to enjoy the moment or to have high expectations because, emotionally, you just can't afford another let down, another heartbreak.

At any rate, I'm going to lower my guard and not allow those negative thoughts to keep me from enjoying this feeling while it lasts. I'm committed to making my 5th year my best year.

GO HORNETS!!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

What's worse, lying to others or lying to yourself?


I just finished reading The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. Towards the end, the main character, Ponyboy, lies to himself to avoid the truth of a very tragic situation. He believes himself on the surface; however, subconsciously he knows what really happened. Ponyboy carries on with his family as if his lies are reality, until his eventual awakening at the very end.

This book got me to thinking in a broader sense. What's worse, lying to others or lying to yourself? Does it make it worser (I know, not a real word) when you believe your own lies? I'm curious to know what you think.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Men, if you're thinking about attacking a female today, don't!


So I've had a few random moments that have produced a few random thoughts. I'll start with the random moments first.

I like to run outside. I wouldn't mind going to a park in Raleigh to run, but I can't get my mother out of my head telling me not to go by myself. She watches a lot of news and is always hearing about Raleigh joggers being assaulted.

Then I thought, maybe I could find an indoor track. That would be better for me and my knees anyways. But then my mom warns, "Don't go to a gym by yourself, especially at night!" I am the type of person that if I want to do something, I'm going to do it. And it really bothers me to be told to take someone with me, like I'm a kid.

But during college, I realized that everything my mom told me was true. So nowadays, I try to follow the advice that she gives. I should be able to go wherever I want, whenever I want, but the reality is, sometimes it's just not a good idea.

Second random moment. I had to go pick up my dog from the vet. I was a little early so I decided to go to the Food Lion next door to kill some time. This Food Lion was the kind that looks dark even in the day light. Have you ever been to one of those? There were some suspect people just hanging around. I felt like maybe I shouldn't be going here by myself. Paranoid? Maybe.

And that's when it hit me. What if, instead of telling women to not go places by themselves either at night, while jogging, etc, that we tell men to not attack, harass, kidnap women. That's the real issue. Seriously. I get so tired of news broadcasters and everyone else vehemently encouraging women to take a friend with them when they jog or do xyz. Women jogging alone, going to the grocery store at night, or making a late run to Walmart is not the problem. Let's not blame the victim. The real problem is male attackers (notice I said male attackers, not males in general).

As a society, I feel we focus too much on making women cautious, scared, and dependent. Again, WE are not the problem. Doing something alone shouldn't constitute telling a woman, "She should have known better."

I wish there was a concerted effort in school and throughout the media to teach males, young and old, how to treat a woman, how to not use force to take what they want, how to let a woman walk past you and not feel obliged to make a snide remark--something to combat this current misogynistic world that we live in (I know women could use an etiquette class as well, but this post isn't about us).

If telling women on the news broadcast to not do things alone or at night, is supposed to curtail these habits, why not add an additional statement: Ladies remember, it's not safe to run alone in the park. And men, if you're thinking about attacking a female today, please don't.

What's the harm in that? Why does that statement sound so weird? Why can't we say that?







Friday, April 10, 2009

Shakespeare Worse Than Rap?




Every year as a 9th grade English teacher, I have to teach Romeo and Juliet. Each time I teach it, I get a little more peeved at the way women are portrayed. This has led me to believe that the misogyny in R&J deserves just as much criticism as rap lyrics.
To start off, in Act I, scene i, two Capulet servants are going back and forth cracking jokes about the Montagues and making a pun of the word “maidenhead.” Sampson mocks, “'Tis true, and therefore women, being the weaker vessels, /are ever thrust to the wall; therefore I will push /Montague's men from the wall, and thrust his maids to the wall . . . Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I /have fought with the men, I will be civil with the maids, and cut off their heads . . . Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads; / take it in what sense thou wilt.” Basically Sampson argues that because women are weaker than men, once he finishes fighting the Montagues, he will rape their women. This interchange was meant to be funny; however, I haven’t laughed yet.
In addition, throughout the play, Shakespeare throws in these underhanded comments about women. Romeo blames Juliet’s love for making him “effeminate” when he couldn’t stand up to Tybalt’s challenge. His lack of a will to fight caused the death of Mercutio, one of his close friends. The implication here is that a woman’s love takes away one’s manhood. Later on, Friar Lawrence describes Romeo’s emo breakdown as acting like a woman. At the time, Romeo was going on and on about how being banished from Verona was more like a death sentence because he wouldn’t be near Juliet. He starts wailing about how he would rather die than live without her. So Friar tells him, “Hold thy desperate hand:/Art thou a man? thy form cries out thou art:/Thy tears are womanish; thy wild acts denote/The unreasonable fury of a beast:/Unseemly woman in a seeming man!” So women are just a ball of uncontrollable, irrational emotions? I’m glad Shakespeare told me because I didn’t know before.
On top of all this, Shakespeare further aggravates me in Act IV when Juliet runs to Friar for help after finding out her father has arranged for her to marry Paris. Friar concocts this plan in which Juliet has to drink a potion that will make her appear dead for 42 hours. Mind you, this is the 16th century; who wouldn’t be scared to take some herb mixed potion that will make you “die?” But good ole Friar reassures Juliet when he tells her, “And this shall free thee from this present shame;/If no inconstant toy, nor womanish fear,/Abate thy valour in the acting it.” Or in other words, as long as you don’t get all scary like a little "girl," my crazy plan might just work.
Others might argue that R&J is reflective of the time period in which Shakespeare was writing, but if that works for him then it should work for any rapper. Today’s time period is just as patriarchal, misogynistic as any other. And I don’t think we should let Shakespeare off the hook.