So I've had a few random moments that have produced a few random thoughts. I'll start with the random moments first.
I like to run outside. I wouldn't mind going to a park in Raleigh to run, but I can't get my mother out of my head telling me not to go by myself. She watches a lot of news and is always hearing about Raleigh joggers being assaulted.
Then I thought, maybe I could find an indoor track. That would be better for me and my knees anyways. But then my mom warns, "Don't go to a gym by yourself, especially at night!" I am the type of person that if I want to do something, I'm going to do it. And it really bothers me to be told to take someone with me, like I'm a kid.
But during college, I realized that everything my mom told me was true. So nowadays, I try to follow the advice that she gives. I should be able to go wherever I want, whenever I want, but the reality is, sometimes it's just not a good idea.
Second random moment. I had to go pick up my dog from the vet. I was a little early so I decided to go to the Food Lion next door to kill some time. This Food Lion was the kind that looks dark even in the day light. Have you ever been to one of those? There were some suspect people just hanging around. I felt like maybe I shouldn't be going here by myself. Paranoid? Maybe.
And that's when it hit me. What if, instead of telling women to not go places by themselves either at night, while jogging, etc, that we tell men to not attack, harass, kidnap women. That's the real issue. Seriously. I get so tired of news broadcasters and everyone else vehemently encouraging women to take a friend with them when they jog or do xyz. Women jogging alone, going to the grocery store at night, or making a late run to Walmart is not the problem. Let's not blame the victim. The real problem is male attackers (notice I said male attackers, not males in general).
As a society, I feel we focus too much on making women cautious, scared, and dependent. Again, WE are not the problem. Doing something alone shouldn't constitute telling a woman, "She should have known better."
I wish there was a concerted effort in school and throughout the media to teach males, young and old, how to treat a woman, how to not use force to take what they want, how to let a woman walk past you and not feel obliged to make a snide remark--something to combat this current misogynistic world that we live in (I know women could use an etiquette class as well, but this post isn't about us).
If telling women on the news broadcast to not do things alone or at night, is supposed to curtail these habits, why not add an additional statement: Ladies remember, it's not safe to run alone in the park. And men, if you're thinking about attacking a female today, please don't.
What's the harm in that? Why does that statement sound so weird? Why can't we say that?
