Timbaland and One Republic Were Wrong . . .

. . . It's never too late to Apologize.

Today I'm just lounging around the house and I decided to check my school email. In my inbox I have a new message with the subject "Renae Brown" (changed the name). I'm thinking, "What in the world?" Renae used to be one of my friends in high school. We used to ride to school together and hang out with my older sister on the weekends. She came to my house I went to hers. We played sports together our whole life. Then, my junior year, her senior year, she started calling my boyfriend trying to holla at him. And she would talk junk to him about me, my sister, and brother. She even talked about my parents, who were going through a divorce. Real grimy right? So when I found out, I got real mad. I told my mom I was gonna tell her off at school. Ma told me that I betta not get into a fight at school over something stupid. Well first of all, I was not about to fight nobody (I only hit people who are related to me). Second of all, I know better.

I waited till volleyball practice to tell her off. Our team had talked about how we should talk and not hold things in because they would affect the team. So I made everybody sit in circle. I reminded them of how we said we should talk about things to help the team out. Well, I went into this tyriad about how Renae had been talking about me and my family, trying to steal my boyfriend, about how I never asked her or anybody else to be my friend, and blah blah blah. I told them that for the sake of the team, I will be cooperative on the court, but once games and practice were over, I didn't want nothing to do with her.

Ok so it was a little more dramatic than this 5 minute effort to transribe the conversation. The team was shocked and she was too. She didn't say one word. Then I was like, "Iight. Let's practice." I was the main setter and she was our main hitter. I don't think we won a game after that.

So all of this is running through my mind when I see the subject. I've seen her at least twice since she graduated but I haven't spoken to her in about 10 years. I opened the email, and read the message. She was apologizing for what had happened in high school. It was very sincere. She said that she wasn't sick or dying, but that she was growing closer to Jesus Christ, and as a worshiper, she knew that she needed to right her wrongs in order to better serve Him and in order to receive what He had instore for her.

Wow!! That was my first reaction. It takes a lot of courage/faith to do that. I had never forgotten about that incident, but I didn't hold a grudge against her either. I was glad to hear that God was working through her. Its always a blessing to know that people are trying to live better.

I made a nice reply thanking her for the apology. I hope the best for her and her family.

As Easy as Making a Baby!?!

It's been a while since I've written. Please bear with the long post.

A couple of months ago I watched this special on MTV (I think it was MTV) about people trying to find one of their parents. It was about 5 adults, who were 18 and over, trying to find a parent who abandoned them. MTV helped this process by using research, clues, eye witnesses, etc to help them track their parents. It was a very emotional roller coaster ride for these people who were searching for a parent that they had never met or who they partially knew. I found myself on the brink of tears, empathizing with their stories. And I thought, creating a child can be one of the most thoughtless acts ever. I find it so disappointing, but not unrealistic, for a person to have a child and feel absolutely nothing for the offspring.

While viewing the show, I started thinking about the requirements for having a child. And basically it can be as simple as random sperm entering a random uterus. No names, no strings attached. Nothing. Get up and go in different directions. When you think about it, isn't it sad that thats all it takes to create LIFE? Life is amazing. Its beautiful. Its complex, complicated. Mysterious. Unfortunate yet magnificent. It's so emotional, yet emotions are not even necessary for its birth.

After pondering over these thoughts for a while, I grew upset with God and told him so. How could He allow the reproduction of something so vital to be so simple? I know humans abuse sex's original purpose, but still. Creating a human is just too easy.

I started to think of ways to have a more intricate baby making process. People should have a switch that needs to be turned on in order to be able to produce a child. Unlike puberty, this switch would be manual. The only way to get the switch turned on is to pass a test at the doctor's office. The test would contain questions such as:

1.) How well do you know your potential baby momma/daddy?
2.) Do you like/love your potential baby momma/daddy?
3.) Do you have a job?
4.) How much money do you make?
5.) How much do you think it costs to support a newborn child?
6.) What is your philosophy on child rearing?
7.) In your opinion, at what point do you think you are no longer financially responsible for your child?
8.) What role should education play in a child's life?
9.) If you and the maker of this baby decide to no longer be together, how will you support this child emotionally? Financially?
10.) On a scale of 1-10, how important is it to spend time with your child? Explain.

I think you get my point. Baby making should be a thoughtful process rather than a thoughtless process.

After conversing more with God, He convinced me that it wasn't His fault that producing a child had become so senseless. We as humans have abused the sexual experience as merely a pleasure seeking entity without fully acknowledging its procreation aspects. We did this to ourselves. From this lens, we have devalued life. We are the highest beings and we're supposed to know better and do better.

How would the world, or parenting more specifically, be different if people valued life over self seeking pleasure?

I ain't . . .

. . . been up here in so long I bout forgot how to log in.